Burlington, Iowa

Missionary opportunities come in all forms, including members. Sometimes its just as important to be able to share and edify each other- the church is meant to build us up, and buoy us up when we're weak. If nothing else, service is an act of charity, and charity is the pure love of Christ.

Burlington is nice in that it's one of the larger towns I guess, and there's higher income areas. It's a bit like Los Angeles in that there's good and bad parts of town. Where our apartment is at is nicer, and the apartment itself is very nice (both aspects are frequently untrue of missionary apartments)... But there's a LOT of welfare need here, a lot of people on unemployment or minimum wage work, etc. The education level here is weirdly low. I'm constantly pronouncing and explaining words used in the Book of Mormon and Bible because people honestly have never learned it. The schools around here aren't very good and dropping out for the usual reasons (pregnancy, drugs, etc) is pretty common. Many of them lived on the street too.

There's an area we fondly refer to as little Chicago because almost everyone we spoke to was from there. I've heard (an I don't know how true this is) that Chicago was giving a chunk of change to people who would move out of the city. But most people, the story was the same- they wanted to move out and get away from the crime. Unfortunately that means many of them are taking the gang activity with them; there were 5 murders in the last 2 weeks alone. That's unprecedented here apparently. I had to laugh though. We went on exchanges (companionships trade companions just to mix things up a little) this last weekend and both days we were walking through Little Chicago... I was totally comfortable. It felt a little like Los Angeles. But my companions, little white girls from Utah, definitely had a certain amount of anxiety in them. It helped to talk it out and change their perspective and understanding a bit, but it's still a very different world from what they were used to. We found a lot of people to talk to, and many appointments. I think my favorite part was the herd of kids we passed as we were walking. Several of the little girls, maybe 3 or 4 years old, ran up and gave us hugs and waved vigorously at us as we walked away. Little ones just know something's missing, and they're so excited to see it. These people need the Gospel in their lives; we hope we can share that with them.

The offended inactive woman and her sister will be working with us again this week. We figured we wouldn't be able to try until school started (which it does today for most schools around here), since their children were difficult to manage. The offended one is working with her home teacher, who is a trained psychologist I guess? So he's trying to help her. But they're both fighters, so its slow going. Fiery personalities.

One of my big revelations this week (and I feel silly for taking so long to come to this conclusion) was the way the Spirit works, and the way He works with me specifically. So we've always heard the Spirit is always with us so long as we're striving to do what is right, and we're supposed to listen to His promptings. Well, I've always felt more than a little deaf, and really struggled with 'what is the spirit saying?' 'Is He here?' 'How do I know this is the Spirit answering? It sounds an awful lot like myself.' So... basic equations. If we're striving to align our will with God's, trying to do the right thing, then the Spirit is promised to be with us. The Spirit speaks to us in a way we understand- ie, our own methods of talking, thinking, feeling. So... If you're striving to be as we've been commanded to be, many times those thoughts ARE the Spirit. The little good things, the details. Elder Bednar (one of the general leaders of the church who likely spoke to the new missionaries in the training center) gave a great talk on it- DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. Just keep doing the right things, and it'll work out. 99% of the time you won't recognize it as the Spirit when it's happening. I think that's why its important to evaluate the day in your evening prayers. It's easier to recognize in retrospect. Sometimes you never recognize them, and that's okay too. So long as you keep at it. Often people don't remember the specific words anyway. They only remember how they feel.

That being said I'm still really horrific at street contacting and tracting. My application leaves a certain amount to be desired. So that's my current goal- improve my tracting. It's hard but the only way to get good at it is to do it.

I know I'm not supposed to compare myself to others, but sometimes district meetings are hard, in that it seems like everyone's got at least one big miracle a week to share and my miracles are that I stayed awake through all of my studies for the whole week. The little things. But those things are important too and there's more of them so at least I'm recognizing them and appreciating them for what they are- the Lord's help in my struggles.

I enjoy the members when we get to spend time with them- there's this returning lady who's very stereotypically black in her prayers and I love it so much because she's so enthusiastic and so devoted and I wish more people could be like that, regardless of their shade of skin.

I haven't been to the Reagan Library (Mom and Dad took the Cub Scouts on Saturday, this is a response to that) since middle school. We should go when I come back. Reagan's time was definitely different. The whole country's attitude was different. I don't know that he would have been elected now, like Obama would not have been elected then. It's a reflection of the times. I think now that I'm older, I could appreciate it a little better though. 

So much scout stuff going on! I'm not used to being so uninvolved, so I get a little excited when I run into the scouts and scout leaders on the mutual nights (church youth program nights) out here. The scoutmaster here is a riot, but we don't really get to do anything with them beyond shoot the breeze if we somehow manage to cross paths.

My babyyyyy (the blue truck was in a minor accident before she left). I hope she gets fixed- she looks so sad with her teeth pushed in. Is it at least all superficial? Nothing behind the bumper got broken I hope.

I'm doing well; settling into the schedule. It feels like I've been doing this a long time, though I have mixed feelings of "I have so much longer to go" and "I feel like I'm going home soon". The hymns aren't THAT different, but yeah, there's been a good peppering of hymns I don't recall ever hearing before. I'm coming around to the mentality that everyone keeps telling me about, so it'll start flying by soon-ish I think.

I love you! Keep writing!

Christine