mail, teaching, learning, and wondering

Happy birthday to Katie (younger sibling). I wrote her a letter; hopefully that will get there before the end of the month- it certainly feels like mail takes forever around here. I received the box with my skirt in it- it took so long because they tried to forward it from the mission office, but the post office kicked it back because the box was damaged, so I had to wait until Zone conference to get it. So sad.

Anyhow! Mission life!

So a lot of teaching going on between now and last I wrote- we taught 27 lessons total this week, though most of it was my companion being really, really good at what she does, and I stand idly by with the occasional word to throw in. It's getting better, but its not easy. We've spent a fair amount of time tracking down inactives and such, so that's an interesting experience to see people who have a testimony, but aren't really doing anything with it? If you know something, you need to do something...

We have two investigators with a baptismal date- one is working on moving out of her super anti-LDS parents house so she can go to church and be baptized. The other was a total surprise- her parents are going through a bitter divorce, and her father is very anti, and so won't let her get baptized. Her mom was a member when she was very little, but stopped going at a very young age. She's since started coming back now that her husband isn't there to control everything, but she's got a lot to relearn since primary over 40 years ago. But I'm anxious- I hate it when legal things are involved, so we're praying aggressively that this all works out for them. We've got a little 9 year old investigator who's the daughter of a returning member as well, but her mom doesn't want her baptized until she understand what she's asking for. A couple of potential investigators as well, but not quite off the ground yet, so we're crossing fingers and saying prayers from specific people.

I cried the other day over another piece of mail- I love mail, and I tear up every time I get a piece, but this time I finally stopped succeeding in holding it in and cried for a couple minutes. I love all the love and support you all have been sending me, and it really helps. I'm tired, I don't sleep through the night, I'm awkward and somewhat frustrated. This is hard. But its really, really good. Its not even been quite a month since I've been gone and I feel like I've grown a lot. I've learned a lot, about myself, about the Gospel, about my relationship with God and Christ and with people around me. I'm having to re-learn how to let go, how to put it in God's hands and not worry, and how to "embrace the awkward", as my companion so aptly puts it. Scheduling and studying and coordinating with people is something I for the most part understood, but this is the first time I've had to do so much of it. My life is very regimented, but its that way because I make it so. Its very free form, because we have to plan it all ourselves. I like the service we do, and wish we did more.

To Nick and Jake, and even Katie (all three siblings), I encourage that you pray about a mission. Pray and study and wonder about it. This has been an awful, trying experience. But as I have been taken to quoting from Ron Weasley(from the part in divination) "You'll suffer... But you'll be happy about it." It's a growing experience. Its hard. But even only a month in, I see that I've grown, more than camp, or school, or anything else has ever taught me in such a short time. It's a long time. But it goes by fast. And you learn how to be an adult very quickly. It's good. I'd recommend it to anyone. "It's not about the destination, but the journey." And the journey is extraordinary.

Keep teaching, keep sharing, keep on keeping on.